I’ve heard it a thousand times from influencers, leaders, and just regular people—the biggest periods of growth don’t happen when everything is going great. They happen after a setback. When plans fall apart. When uncertainty shows up. When you’re forced to adapt or crumble.

Last year, I lived this firsthand. I lost my high-paying job at Gartner—through no fault of my own—and it shook everything. Financial pressure slammed down hard. I hadn’t saved much. I had to lean heavily on my significant other, especially emotionally. I lost my sense of purpose, my income, and even my access to the national security industry I'd worked so hard to be part of.

I was in my late 30s, looking around and thinking,How the hell did I end up here? What am I doing with my life? What the hell is going on?

It would’ve been easy to spiral into victim mode. But I made a decision: I wasn’t going to let the setback define me. I leaned hard on my friends. I leaned harder on my mentor, Mr. Wnuk, who helped me keep my head straight. I actively sought out the people, tools, and environments that would help me rebuild when everything felt broken.

The truth is, that setback almost cost me everything — including my relationship.

But setbacks aren’t just unfortunate detours.They’re a natural, necessary part of life.Yes, they suck. Yes, they hurt. But if you’re not experiencing setbacks, you’re probably not alive anymore.

A 2022 McKinsey study found that companies with high resilience bounce back from disruptionstwice as fastas others. The same principle applies to us individually